Another light Bulb Joke: Fatalists

How many fatalists does it take to change a light bulb?
What's the point?  What difference does it make?

Playing on the Porch

“A pastor was walking down the street one day when he noticed a small boy across the street struggling to ring a doorbell.

After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the pastor walked across the street and placed his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder before leaning over to give the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child’s level, the pastor smiled benevolently and asked, “And now what, my little man?”  To which the boy replied, “Now we run!”

“From The Big Book of Church Jokes, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.”

Book Comment: The Big Book of Church Jokes

The Big Book of Church Jokes (2009) is full of one-liners, extremely corny puns, irony, funny stories, and cartoons,   The subjects include, among others, pastors, tithes, weddings, funerals, heaven, the end of the world, and missionaries.

This book is probably far too American to be funny elsewhere.  Many of the jokes are based on American cultural references and many hinge on silly word play.

The Difference Between Presbyterians and Baptists

A Presbyterian friend of mine told me this joke.  Baptists (the religious tradition in which I grew up) have a reputation for being very straight-laced, almost Puritanical.

The Joke:
What is the difference between Presbyterians and Baptists?
Presbyterians will say hello to you when you run into them at the liquor store.

I Don't Want to Go Today

"It's time to go to church,' a mother told her son, "You know today is Sunday."


"I don't want to go," he replied.  "I don't have any friends there. The music is awful. And the sermons are boring!"


"But you have to go," the mother insisted.  "You're the pastor!"


“From The Big Book of Church Jokes, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.”

A Joke Credited to the Roman Emperor Augustus

The Roman Emperor Caesar Augustus (b. 63BC/BCE - d. 14 AD/CE)  is only mentioned once in the New Testament.


"And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed." Luke 2:1


Emperor Augustus is credited with the eighth oldest known joke in recorded history:  "Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.  Intrigued he asked, "Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?" "No your Highness," he replied, "but my father was."

The Preacher and the Little Boy

“A preacher was repairing the fence around the old country church.  He noticed that a small boy had been watching him for some time.

“Do you want to speak with me, son?” the pastor asked.

“Oh, no,” the boy replied.  “I’m just waiting.”

“Waiting for what?” the preacher asked.

“Waiting to hear what a preacher says when he hits his finger with a hammer!”

.....................................................................

“From The Big Book of Church Jokes, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.”

Christian Jokes.net

http://www.christian-jokes.net

Most are groaners, plays on words, etc. This is a variation on several other very similar websites.