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Showing posts with label Christian humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 19, 2026

There is Power in the Blood

Lewis E. Jones (1865-1934) was a YMCA (Young Men's Christian Association) worker who wrote  the hymn, There is Power in the Blood (1899). He is recorded as having said, "I want to be so full of Christ that when a mosquito bites me he flies away singing there is power in the blood."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeTE0W7K4sU



Wednesday, August 12, 2026

Three Religious Truths

I do not know the origin of this joke but I would strongly believe that it came from a Baptist.

There are three religious truths.

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

Sunday, July 5, 2026

The Holy Goalie

 

Álisson Ramsés Becker. born 2 October 1992, is a Brazilian professional footballer ("soccer player" for Americans). He plays his professional football for Liverpool in the English Premier League. Professionally, he is known as Alisson. On 18 May 2026, he was selected to be on Brazil's squad for the 2026 FIFA World Cup.

Because of his German ancestry, Alisson was nicknamed "The German" while playing for Roma in Italy. He speaks Portuguese, Italian, Spanish and English.

Alisson and his wife, Natália, have been WHO advocates for pro-active care of mental health.

Alisson is mentioned in this blog because he is an outspoken Pentecostal Christian known to hold baptisms in his swimming pool. One teammate nicknamed Becker "The Holy Goalie" due to his outspoken faith.

With so many athletes being known for drugs, domestic abuse, out of control tempers, personal arrogance, questionable financial dealings, and any number of other negatives, it is to be praised that Alisson chooses to publicly serve the Lord.

(This is an English language humorous word play. It may not translate well into other languages. "The Holy Goalie" is an alliterative word play on "the Holy Ghost" or "the Holy Spirit.")

Saturday, June 20, 2026

Religious Humor: Laziness

The Bible actually contains many instances of humor which we may not readily recognize today because our modern culture does not understand the ancient worldviews. Their humor was often based on sarcasm, hyperbole, metaphors, absurdity, ridiculous visual images, and displaying idiocy in full view.  The humor is intended to make a spiritual point. An example occurs at Proverbs 26:15.

A literal translation of this verse from the Proverbs is: Hides a lazy one his hand in the bowl it wearies him to bring it back to his mouth.

The pleasure of eating is not enough of a reward for the lazy man to raise his hand to his mouth. He is too much of a sluggard, too lazy to move at all.

This is a warning against spiritual laziness. If you are too lazy to act on spiritual matters of the moment, like prayer, charity, and Bible study, you will miss out on the immediate pleasures of the spirit and will eventually starve.

In 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Paul uses sports examples while speaking about being intentional, practicing self-discipline, and working to win rather than just being a participant, an also ran. 




Wednesday, February 18, 2026

Trout Ice Cream

 If you enjoy making homemade ice cream, why not be adventurous? Try ice creams made with uncommon ingredients: pickles, corn, carrots, tofu, bacon, ham, avocados, butterbeans, etc.  Some of them sound as if they might be quite good. 

Japanese Iron Chef Hiroyuki Sakai is known to have made cod roe ice cream. In 2019, on Iron Chef America, chef Morimoto Masaharu, a fish expert, made trout ice cream. The judges unanimously told him to never make it again. 

A Christian understanding which can be taken from this event is that, in our Christian freedom, just because you can do something, that does not mean that you should or even that you must do it.

Surprisingly to me, the Google AI function expressed this very well. "Christian freedom does not mean a license to indulge in sinful desires or do whatever one pleases, but rather a freedom from the bondage of sin and an opportunity for serving others through love, as well as doing what is good, true, and beautiful in obedience to God's will. It is freedom to live a holy life, act in love, and serve others, not freedom to pursue fleeting desires or self-indulgence."

Saturday, December 27, 2025

Broke

 I stay broke more often than the Ten Commandments.

Saturday, July 11, 2020

The Voice of God

Today, I went to The Waffle House, a local restaurant, to get takeout breakfast for myself and my wife. When I got home, my wife was still in bed so I called her name and said "Get up!"

Out of a deep sleep, she suddenly shot straight up and looked around the room, breathing heavily. Then she laughed.

"I was dead asleep, " she explained. "I thought it was the Lord calling me home!"

One day we will all hear the Lord's voice, some to their great delight, others not so much.

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Peanuts

I do not know the source of this story. Those viewing this in translation may wish to read the synopsis below because this story will probably not translate well.
____________________________________________________________________________
The new preacher in town had for several days been visiting all the church's elderly members and especially those who were "shut-ins" in poor health. Blanche was the last person on his list.

Blanche was a kind old lady who had long ago lost all her teeth. She absolutely refused to get dentures and therefore had the sunken lips look of a very old person with no teeth. Her speech was affected by her lack of teeth. She was delighted to see the preacher.

"Oh, preachah! I'm tho happy to thee you!"

"Blanche, I'm glad I could come by."

The two sat on the couch and talked about the church and Blanche's health until the phone rang.

"O, preachah,  I gotta go get that. Ith probably Hortenth.  The callth me every day about thith time. I'll be back ath thoon ath I can."

"OK, Blanche. I'm not going anywhere."

 The phone call seemed to drag on and on and the preacher felt a rumbling in his stomach. He saw a bowl of peanuts on the end table and knowing that Blanche would not mind, took a small handful. Then another handful. Then another. Suddenly, to his dismay, he realized that he had consumed the entire bowl of peanuts.

When Blanche came back into the room, the preacher apologized profusely, but Blanche was not concerned.

"Oh preachah, thath OK! I done thucked all the chocolate off of 'em anyway!"

________________________________________________________________________________
This is a joke story: A new preacher visits an elderly church member and in her brief absence to answer a phone call eats all the peanuts from a bowl on a table. When the preacher apologizes for having eaten all the woman's peanuts she tells him not to be concerned because she had already sucked all the chocolate off the peanuts.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Cat chases it's tail.



Cat chases it’s tail.

Jesus laughs as Zebedee

yells and shakes his hands


Boanerges is an Aramaic word meaning "sons of thunder."  Jesus gave this nickname to his disciples James and John. The term is never explained further and has engendered many attempts at interpretation.

The Bible says that Jesus knew the hearts of men (John 2: 24-25) and some commentators believe that Jesus gave the nickname to the men in reference to the two brother's loud and hot-headed nature as shown in Luke 9:54.  This may well be the correct interpretation, but there are others.

Dr. James Blevins, my Greek professor at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, believed that the meaning of the phrase laid in "thunder" rather than "sons." The nickname was humorous. He envisioned Zebedee as red-faced and spitting and bubbling as his sons tossed away their fishing nets and followed Jesus.





Thursday, January 22, 2015

Dude With a Limp

Michael Jr. tells you that he is a stand-up comedian. His jokes and stories have people rolling in the aisles. Then, he pulls out the Sword of the Lord and thrusts. This is a man of God. This is an evangelist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX1_5DzWNxw

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Prime Minister of Humor

Grady Nutt, an ordained Southern Baptist minister, was professionally known as The Prime Minister of Humor.  He appeared weekly on the country music and comedy based television series, Hee Haw. His hilarious church-related comedy was based on the culture of the southern region of the United States. His appearances at churches and religious events always led to a sermon based on the jokes with which he began his talk.

Grady Nutt died in an small airplane crash.

http://www.the-cartoonist.com/Nutt/Nutt.html

http://www.gradynutt.com/about.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6w-HkQrxgQ

Friday, March 22, 2013

Baptists and Pre-Marital Sex

Why do Baptists oppose pre-marital sex?
They fear it might lead to drinking and dancing.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

A Toast

The new Pope, Francis, apparently has a sense of humor.  New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan has related that Francis' post-election toast to his fellow electors was, "May God forgive you."

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Senility Prayer


“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
 The courage to change the things I can,
 And wisdom to know the difference.”

The first known appearance of this short prayer is in a 1943 sermon by the American Christian theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971).  It is popularly known as the Serenity Prayer.

Recently, I found a copy of a parody of the Serenity Prayer called the Senility Prayer.  As an aging person myself, I found the prayer to be amusing.  I am aware that it is not a Christian prayer.

“Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.” 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Lightbulb Joke


“How many singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, But she’ll need six weeks preparation and will get upset if you don’t spell her name correctly in the bulletin.”


From the Big Book of Church Jokes, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Cutting?


Michael Jr. reacts to the Idea of Circumcision

Friday, December 28, 2012

Michael Jr. on Prayer as a New Christian


Michael is always right on target.  New Christians need not worry that their prayers are not eloquent.  God knows our hearts and is not impressed by the literary quality of our prayers.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Are You Oversaved?



Michael Jr. reacts to people so otherworldy that they forget that they live here, right now.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Coming Home Late


“The minister was waiting up for his teenaged daughter who was out far past her curfew.  When she finally came home around 3:00 a.m. he bellowed, ‘Good morning, child of the devil!’

The girl answered respectfully, ‘Good morning, Father.’”

From the Big Book of Church Jokes, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Praying for God

"A little girl was asked to pray in Sunday School. "Dear Lord," she said, "please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my brother and my doggy and me.  And please take care of Yourself, too, Lord.  If anything happens to You, we'll be in big trouble."

From the Big Book of Church Jokes, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.